Behind the Song: 'Losing Myself in Others' - A Century-Old Story Comes to Life

When lyricist Robert Cochrane discovered a haunting 1920s poetry book by Roddie Ward, it sparked a journey into the forgotten story of a young poet caught between World War I, Irish rebellion, and personal tragedy - ultimately inspiring John Howard's new single 'Losing Myself in Others.

Behind the Song: 'Losing Myself in Others' - A Century-Old Story Comes to Life
John Howard brings Roddie Ward to life in new music video

Robert Cochrane tells us THE TALE BEHIND THE TALE - Losing Myself In Others (for Roddie Ward 1901-22)

Occasionally you open a book and something happens, a strange connection is forged. Such a moment transpired when I first encountered Roddie Ward 1901-22. A beautiful edition, 'Poems & Sketches' printed by The Medici Society, London, in immaculate condition. The book was signed by the poet's mother in his memory, but it was the frontispiece portrait that made me curious. He resembled a matinee idol in sepia, a rare luxury for a poet, but a second later that thought morphed into 'You look bloody haunted'. There was a frightening sadness in his eyes that eclipsed his handsomeness. It had travelled down the photographer's lens, an honesty captured that still remained in a new century.

The book had a biographical introduction by Sarita Sanford Ward in which she presented a lovingly observed portrait of her son, as a vulnerable sensitive boy, prone to self-doubt and contemplation. The word suicide wasn't mentioned, but I'd already read between her lines. I purchased the volume and quickly realised he was a fine poet for one so young. He'd attended Eton before graduating from Oxford. Over the years, having frequently reread the poems, there was an eloquence about them, but I was still haunted by the sadness inherent in the photograph. Though not directly a war poet, he wrote under the influence of that conflict and the attendant losses it bestowed upon him.

I undertook research, discovered his father was a famous adventurer and artist, Herbert Ward, a friend of Picasso who'd maintained a studio in Paris. He'd a particular fascination with African carvings. His closest friend was Sir Roger Casement, the humanitarian and Irish rebel. Ward had christened his son Roger Casement Ward, a gesture that betrays their bond and closeness, though Ward Snr had no inkling of his friend's homosexuality. It seems likely he was the unrequited love of Casement's hidden affections. A facet explored in Sabina Murray's eloquent novel ''Valiant Gentlemen' in which she dissects the complexities of their relationship, and where Roddie fleetingly makes cameo appearances. When Casement was tried for treason, his former friend refused to sign the petition for clemency to save his former friend's life, changing his son's name by deed poll to Rodney Sanford Ward, Sanford being his wife's maiden name. Sarita came from an American banking dynasty with Argentinian roots, and seems to have had a better understanding of Casement's true nature, than her husband. Not only was Casement erased from Roddie's life, he has been effectively been airbrushed from Casement's.

Roddie adored Casement, but in a single year, 1916, his beloved brother Charles was killed at the Front, his godfather was hanged for treason, and his name was changed to remove any connection with Casement's tainted legacy, whose homosexuality had been used against him during his trial. Roddie had tried to emulate the success of Charles whom he hero-worshipped, but failed to equal his triumphs at Eton for boxing and running. That failure hung heavy on his being, and is honestly annotated in one of his literary sketches. In 1919, as a result of injuries sustained during his war service, Herbert Ward died. He had been warned not to enlist on account of his age. It was another major loss to Roddie.

I922 saw Roddie return to the family estate in France. He was in poor spirits. His trip to America to his mother's side of the family hadn't been the success he'd hoped for. His debut collection of poems 'The Four Winds' was poorly received in 1919, and to add insult to his already injured feelings, the father of his French girlfriend forbade him from ever seeing her again. After a furious row, he rowed out onto the lake having borrowed his late father's service revolver, where he shot himself. A true tragedy, but hardly a surprising one given the privations he'd already experienced. He was buried in Pere le Chaise Cemetery beside his father.

When John Howard asked me to write a sheaf of lyrics for what would become 'For Those That Wander By' the sequel to 'The Dangerous Hours' our well received collaboration of 2005, my research into Roddie had taken a more concerted turn. I'd gathered information from Eton College, and was able to locate photographs and stories from various family publications by his mother, and his surviving brother, who became a vicar. His connection to Casement is forgotten, but to me was of immense importance, especially as Casement is now a major figure in Ireland, whose family home is just north of Ballycastle on the Antrim Coast where I went to school. I'd also begun a project 'Songs For After Death' where singer-songwriters set his poems to music. Already on board were John and my friend Peter Godwin.

The line 'losing myself in others' entered my mind and I thought that's what suffocated Roddie Ward, the loss of others, a slow but gradual asphyxiation, combined with a sequence of events to which he was an innocent bystander. I forwarded the lyric to John, thinking it perhaps too odd a subject for a song. When he completed the demo it made me cry, because I hadn't realised how much emotion I'd distilled into the lyric. It being sung revealed its inner workings to me.

The song isn't fearful of space and silence. It returns from various apparent endings, to further emphasise the sense of growing despair. I never imagined it would be a single, let alone have such a perfectly realised and painterly, cinematic video by Roger Houdaille. A meditation on time, love and loss, in which John Howard gradually becomes the person he is immortalising and remembering. It made me wonder what young Mr Ward would make of it, the technology it utilises, which resides well beyond his youthful conception of the future.

So, a century later Roddie Ward is receiving a very belated 'close-up'. His story is important, connected directly as it is to the major events of the last century in Art, Colonial History, War and Irish Independence. A forgotten soul with a handsome face who now belongs to the world. It has been a strange journey, one that strangely, has only just begun.

John Howard's "For Those Who Wander By" is out February 14, 2025 via Think Like A Key Music on CD, Digital and Limited Edition Vinyl (50 copies).